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Agoraphobia and drinking

Hello readers in this post I am going to tell you about how I realized that I can leave my house as long as I drink a couple beers first (I know it sounds weird but it is true)


(This post may not be that good because it is hard for me to think right now so I may re-do it later)


Back on October 8th 2000 my world fell apart first my mom had a stroke then the day after she got out of the hospital (November 8th)my husband left me to go do and sell drugs with his mom,so needless to say I was in a real low point in my life so I started drinking,and when I say I started drinking I mean I was drunk from the minute I woke up till the minute I went to sleep,I would leave a half of a tall boy (24oz can of beer)on my night stand and when I woke up I would down it then through out the day I would drink whatever I got my hands on including moonshine.
while all of that was going on I was going every where I wanted to, I thought I was cured of my agoraphobia this went on for more then 4 months.


Then in March 2001 my husband got clean of the drugs and came home,now I did not stop drinking all together at this point but I did slow down so I still didn't realize that it was the booze that let me leave the house.
a few week's later my sister had a migraine and needed to go to the hospital and I went with her it was at the hospital that I had my first panic attack in months (I was sober) I could not understand why I was having the panic attacks again so I just figured it was just a one time thing and went on with my life.


about 7 months went by and I had had some mini panic attacks but nothing too big (always when I was sober) then my sister and her husband wanted us to come over to Spokane (we lived in CDA at the time)and go out with them for Halloween and stay the weekend so we did, the ride to Spokane was a little rough I had a small panic attack but Halloween night was fun we went to the bar and I even won a hula hoop contest lol but the next day was BAD since we planned to stay in and just watch movies I decided not to drink then when we went to Hastings to rent the movies I had a bad panic attack I had to have my sisters husband take me back to their house and was crying the whole way there then ended up in the bathroom for about an hour,and was miserable for the rest of the night. I am surprised after that, that I even wanted to try to go back home but I did (Thank God) and after I got home I sat down and tried to figure out why my panic attacks kept randomly coming back but I could not figure it out until one night I went down to the bar but right as I got there I had to turn right around and go home. so I figured since I was not going to be able to go out I would drink at home then after I got a buzz going I felt fine and decided to try again to go out and I was fine for the rest of the night. the next day I finally thought I had it figured out so I sat down with my hubby and asked him if he noticed that when ever I drank I didn't have the panic attacks but when I was sober I did.After he thought about it for awhile he finally agreed that seemed to be the case.
I tested my theory for awhile and sure enough it seemed to be true.


So that is how I found a way to be able to go place's,and I am happy that I did I just wish it was a pill or something lol


Now I know a lot of people are going to think that because I found this way to go places I must be drinking all the time but that is not the case,sure for awhile I did do that lol, but now I only drink a couple times a month sometimes only once and that is to cash checks. but I am happy to know that I can leave if I want to (and have beer lol) but it does suck in the sense that sometimes I am sick or just don't feel like drinking but I have to if I need to go somewhere.


I am not saying that this is going to be a solution for everyone with IBS/agoraphobia or even that you should try it,but it has helped me and I wanted to share it with you all


God Bless
Gayle

3 comments:

GOAT-VL said...

That's tough! Best of luck...

SyndicatorZ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lydia said...

Thanks for sharing your story. Before sobriety I remember when a few beers would prevent me from leaving my house. So glad that whatever the solution you found a way to get out. Monitor if you find yourself having to increase your drinking to go out and hopefully you have some other resources in place to help you get beyond having to drink to get go outside your home.

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